These are the 5 top values I’ve discovered for myself through a long but very rewarding process. Probably the most fulfilling and rewarding thing I have ever done. Honestly. And I have kids. Ok. Maybe they are a tie- but only because I have new perspective that is making my mom-dom oh so much more rewarding! I am becoming the joyous queen of my castle more than ever before. Read my story and my process.
update: I have been analyzing this value over the last several months and have found that the word community is not encompassing the vibe I am feeling. I need to feel I belong, to group of friends, at church, with my extended family, somewhere. I used to let my fear of not belonging drive my actions and that led to decisions that hurt my well-being. Approaching this need in myself head on and in a positive way helps me feel fulfilled and confident and happy. I will say that becoming an adult has changed this value tremendously! Fickle emotions and uncertainty that comes with adolescence is a ripe place for irrational words and actions that lead to hurt feelings. I think this is where my fear took the lead. I was afraid of others, afraid of them not liking me because I didn’t do or go where they did. Now that I have my own life and family- and my husband!!!- I am less afraid and therefore less driven by the fear. I soooo wish I could have gotten even a glimpse of this truth back in my youth! What a difference it would make to go from fear driven to joy driven!
2. Family & Friendships- Love
This is where love languages can work their way in for me. When I fill those around me they fill me. Seeking to do this daily fulfills my deep value to be loved.
When I was growing up I used to make my younger sisters (my mom says they went willingly but I wonder how persuasive I was) attend school in our room or the garage. I would set up a classroom and proceed to teach them math or reading and I would even make homework sheets. While perhaps I should have become a teacher of some sort I know that this stems from my need to share. To contribute what I learn. I have always enjoyed speaking- even in public.
As mentioned above I like to share, and perhaps it is because I need to learn. Something new every single day. I like to learn new things and then share them. If I make it a point to learn something about an ingredient in a recipe I am making, or to learn more about how collagen proteins aid in joint health, or what the greek root word is for a word in the scriptures, I feel fulfilled. I think this values might be on everyones list- maybe not. But when I can learn new things and then share them or create with this new information it is a palpable high.
This may sound shallow but bear with me. I love to create beauty. I care about my health, but am not a strict diet follower or gym goer. It is not just about my face or hair or clothes- although because my relationship with myself and my husband is something I value too, I do apply it there. I consider beauty to be something I can find or create in everything. From the bottle my face wash is in, to adding a garnish to a simple dinner quiche. And not that is means spending more money or that my house has to be just so so. Not at all. Not instagram beauty. Just finding it every day with eyes that are now opened to seeing it. The colors of the produce in my shopping cart. A bird in a tree. Slowing down when I make my notes when I read so that my writing is more legible. That’s me.
Seems so short and so contrite when it is just numbered there. But those values right there are posted on my wall and they bring purpose and guidance and perspective to my life. I know WHO I AM. I know why I have done things and why I have chosen things in the past, good or bad. They help me to look at options in my life and clearly decide what to do. I know that when I am filling these values- when the things in my life fit into my values – I am happier. I have more joy. I can eliminate or not choose the things that do not. Finding your own core values can do exactly the same for you.
Want to discover yours? I’ve got a couple of exercises for ya! Right here.
I have a few aspirational values too. The things perhaps I’d like to cultivate and maybe as my values shift throughout my life they will make it into the top 5. My aspirational values are:
- trying scary things
Do you have any questions? Is there anything still holding you back from finding out yours? Let me know!